


So There Was This Girl

by Kara (magelette)



Category: Venture Brothers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-23
Updated: 2009-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-05 02:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magelette/pseuds/Kara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was this girl that Pete once dated. No, really, he swears it. What, you thought there was a point to this story?</p>
            </blockquote>





	So There Was This Girl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Flo-Rider](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Flo-Rider).



So, there was this girl. Yeah, would you believe it? There was this girl and she was totally in to me. Said she had an albino fetish. Or maybe it was a vampire fetish, I dunno. Anyway, there was this girl who was in one of Dr. Fantomas' classes with me – yeah, that one that I skipped all the time. Anyway, Ünderbheit was being more of a pain in the ass than usual, and this was right before the Monarch blew his jaw off or whatever, so I didn't wanna spend time any more time in the room than I had to, and since you had that roommate who was always sexing up some girl or another, Rusty – yeah, yeah, I'll get back to the story, Billy, calm down...

Anyway, there was this girl. It was that dummy astronomy course that they'd convinced Fantomas to teach for some reason – probably threatened him with tenure or some crap – and I figured it was an easy A, since it was all based on the tests, and he'd say, yeah, here's the formula, but since you plebeians will doubtlessly never move into a realm where you shall utilize the formula, it will not be required for the test. Yeah, seriously, Billy. In that fake snooty voice of his, like he was fourth-generation costumed adventurer or something. Oh, he is? Six generations? Still, it doesn't mean he has to fake all that hoity-toity bullshit.

So Fantomas is teaching this totally bull-crap class – you promised to take it with me, remember, Rust? But then your dad died and – no, wait, that was the year after. Anyway, so Fantomas is teaching this Astronomy for Poetry Pussies or whatever they called it. Yeah, this was way before he started recruiting for the Guild – or if he was recruiting for the Guild, then, he didn't ask me. Speaking of which, you heard about our application yet, Billy? I still think we have great potential as the ultimate arch nemeses. I mean, I'd arch us. Shut up, Rusty, you're just jealous that all you have is some second-rate Mothman flying around. Even if his wife does have huge kn—

So, yeah, this girl. She sat next to me. No, wait, that roommate of yours sat next to me. At least, I think it was your roommate, Rusty, since it's not like we ever actually saw him. Well, more than his ass, anyway. It was a pretty fine ass, now that I think about it. No, Billy, for the hundredth time, I'm not gay. I'm just... not afraid of admiring either sex, since a fine ass is a fine ass. Anyway. The guy I _think_ was your roommate sat next to me, and this girl sat next to him. And of course she was crawling all over him. Then he dropped out or something. Someone said the OSI had a fix on him. Or maybe it was the Guild. Wouldn't surprise _me_ if Fantomas recruited him. Yes, Billy, I know you worked with him or whatever. "Worked." Yes, I did use air quotes. Whatcha gonna do, short-sheet my bed when we get home tonight?

So, like I was saying, that fuck-buddy roommate of yours dropped the class and this girl had no one to cling to, right? So who does she decide to pick as her study buddy? No, not Fantomas! Why the hell do you guys have such a hard time believing I can pick up chicks? Remember the Christmas party? Wait, that was one of Rusty's dreams and it was Orpheus' daughter? Eew, I'm not that much of a pedophile. Not like Hatred. Anyway. So there was this girl, and she was blond and totally not involved in any crazy arching-super science-boy adventurer shit. I think her dream was to become an American Gladiator. Or something. She could do amazing things with her— Yeah, sorry, Rust, I forgot the Venture-ettes were listening.

So this blond Amazon sidles up to me and asks where Brock went. What, Hank? I think he got up to get a beer or some shit. Yeah, go find 'im. Good idea. So she sits down next to me and asks to see my notes – not that I was taking notes, mind you, since Fantomas' class was a joke anyway. Like I needed to take notes. Not that I told her that. We all know how much women love boy geniuses, don't we, Billy? What, it's not like I called you forty-year old virgin or anything. Yes, Dean, a virgin Shirley Temple. That'd be perfect. If you put some rum in it.

Anyway, so I tell her about the radio show, and Bauhaus, and she was totally digging it. And I invited her to one of the parties that the station threw for "The White Room." Except she didn't really dig the white powder, if you know what I mean. Yes, Hank, talcum powder. We were using it figure out if the radio station was haunted, just like on that Ghost Hunter freak show you watch. Anyway. I guess she was some health nut or something. So it doesn't really go anywhere in the end, but, man, was she hot! And flexible. I swear to God she could shoot a— 9mm really well, exactly, Brock. Still, at least I got to fuck her once. Okay, maybe I didn't actually _do_ her, but I came close. Closer'n you ever came during college, huh, Rusty? What? Whaddaya mean, not appropriate for little pitchers. Billy's the only midget in here, and he doesn't play baseball.

My point? I dunno. There was this girl. I think her name was Standish. Myna Standish. Or something. She was hot, even if she did call me 'that gay albino' for the rest of our time at State. Or maybe she started it, I dunno. Don't think I saw her around much longer. Rumor has it that Fantomas tried to recruit her, too. I know! He apparently tried to recruit the whole class. Dunno why he ignored me. I could've totally been the Pink Phantom to his Phantom Limb. Except that sounded way more gay than I wanted it to sound. Like you can talk, Quizboy. At least I don't have a giant head. And I have all my own hair, unlike some people, _Rusty_.

Who the hell said the story had to have a point? Oh, wait, this was supposed to be some super-secret-science pow-wow about how to get Orpheus' daughter back from the Guild? Dammit, guys, why didn't you just say something...


End file.
